Lowe’s has thoroughly and utterly frakked us. After laying the half of the floor that arrived in the right color, Lowe’s informed us that they would have the rest of the order in a couple of weeks. In two weeks Jen called for an update and they told her it had arrived. I drive down and they tell me it is not in yet. Jen calls and they tell her the order has never been processed. We both drive down and Jen talks to a salesperson, while I debate taking those anger management classes after all. Apparently there is no manager available, so they will call us the next day to discuss reparations. They offer a refund and to “work with us” on a price for a similar floor. We decide to get or money back, cut our losses, and shop somewhere else. Reluctantly they allow us to rip up my hard work. Jen tears up the floor, repacks it in the same boxes, and as of tonight, I will never set foot in Lowes again. Arg.

Sorry to everyone for not updating in a while, but I’ve started bartending again, and I started a new job grading standardized tests. They are sort of like Iowa tests. I have a new respect for elementary school teachers. I would like to say more but good taste and a confidentiality agreement prevents me from elaborating.

In honor of Earth Day tomorrow, I was going to post one of my bland nature photos, but it seemed appropriately inappropriate to post this picture of Jen Crossing the street in front of the Corn Palace in Mitchell, North Dakota. I would like to rant about corn and ethanol and subsidies, but I hate rants and I only did this one about Lowe’s because there is a minute chance that someone might search for “Lowe’s” and “Floor” in a search engine, arrive here, and save themselves a big hassle. Anyways…

Yes, those murals are comprised of many, many ears of corn. There are over 40,000 bushells of corn decorating the building. That could make about, um… one half gallon of ethanol.